Death. Scares. Me

Night time is always so sentimental. It's 1.12 am now. I am still up, battling my ass off with the World Hydra from Castle Age.

The World Hydra has a long lifespan, great resistance to even power attacks. It takes us a long time to defeat one giant monster.

That's so not true on us, whom the World's Hydra called 'tiny humans'.

Death comes after one and another. 3 UTxR students already waved goodbye, another Pre-U schoolmate also left for a better world, so called. Who knows where they went.

I am not fear of death, just as I am not fear of darkness. And cockroach. But I am fear of the transition before meeting death himself. Yes I am a coward. Don't tell me you aren't. It's not because the experience it's frightening but it's the unknown feeling that kills the confidence.

I...don't really have much to say about this. I just want to let it all out before going to bed. Even if I know after doing this, I will still be thinking a lot of 'what if's. I hate the feeling of loss.

Aunty Sei who have passed away after so many years still live in my memory though her image does not surface in my mind all the time. And I remembered I didn't shed a tear during her funeral because I have been telling myself it's her time to go so that she can be released from all the sickness she was suffering from. It should be a happy occasion. And the only reason I would cry is for how much I miss her, every time looking at her picture in her room.

For people who passed away in accidents, I always cried out to God that this is unfair. Deep down I knew it's all in His plan but I just, at least for the first few days, do not want to comply to this kind of outcome. No I really don't.

Can we live like the World Hydra? If yes is the answer, then we would definitely be hoping him or her dead sooner or later. Otherwise it will drag on and on. never ending. I guess only death really teaches us to appreciate life more. Gosh, what an old-fashion phrase coming from my fingers.

But true still.